Celebrity Step Mother throws us under the bus; a rebuttle!

So Jada Pinkett Smith posted something on her Facebook page PUBLICLY that has stirred the Step Mother pot.

Here is what she said:

"Blended families are NEVER easy, but here's why I don't have a lot of sympathy for your situation because... we CHOOSE them. When I married Will, I knew Trey was part of the package...Period! If I didn't want that...I needed to marry someone else. Then I learned if I am going to love Trey...I had to learn to love the most important person in the world to him...his mother. And the two of us may not have always LIKED each other... but we have learned to LOVE each other.
I can't support any actions that keep a man from his children of a previous marriage. These are the situations that separate the women from the girls. Your behavior is that of an insecure child who needs to recognize her own weaknesses that MUST be strengthened to take on the task at hand. We can't say we love our man and then come in between him and his children. THAT'S selfishness...NOT love. WOMAN UP... I've been there...I know. My blended family made me a giant... Taught me so much about love, commitment and it has been the biggest ego death to date. It's time you let your blended family make you the giant you truly are. J."

Well, let's just say, that opened up a BIG can of worms.

The BEST response was via Huffington Post by Marriage and family Psychotherapist Mary T. Kelly, M.A.

I especially loved this quote: "Would you be as judgmental if you understood the loneliness and perpetual feeling of being an outsider when you are a childless woman partnered with a man with children?"

Huffington Post response

Happy New Year, MOM!

Happy New Year my lovely ladies!

Something was mentioned on a Facebook group I am a member on.

The question was, how do you feel when a stranger refers to you as the "Mom"?

I thought about this.

Although it hurts, being childless because I am NOT the Mom or A MOM, it makes me happy for people to think a) my SD looks like me (not a vanity thing; just to feel a connection to my husband somehow), and b) someone recognizes my Motherly duties.

If the stepchild does not correct the stranger, why should I?

It only makes my SD feel uncomfortable and it is not like I SAID it.

Besides, a child can have many "Moms" and in this day and age, a child really needs several.....

I know some of us are having a hard time with the CT shooting. My thoughts...

What has occurred is horrific. This should never of happened and is devastating.

I know it is hard for us to hear, as childless women,  people say :"As a Mother..I am crying. You can never understand". Another kick in the gut. Now we lack empathy. I think even as a non parent, most of us are crying. What about us stepmothers that got close to our stepchildren? We can all agree young children are innocent and precious..our own or not. What about teachers? Principals?  This was a horrible tragedy that affected us ALL.


This leads me to an encounter I had.

I know a woman with two young ones. She once told me she purposely sought out teachers that have kids to teach her children and if the teacher does not have kids of their own, she transfers her children to a class that has one.

I found that offensive on two notes.

One, maybe some women under 30 who teach just didn't have kids yet.

Two, being childless does not make you an unsympathetic teacher.

When I was in elementary school , I had a teacher who realized I was being mentally abused. She took me under her wing. I remember our lunches and her praise. I will never forget it. It was important. Yet, she had no kids of her own (yet, she was 28 or 30ish).

How about the teacher that shielded the kids and died herself during this tragedy? She was 27 and  had no children of her own  YET (I think another didn't either, but not quite sure).

My stepdaughter told me her favorite teacher is childless (by choice; she said her and her husband travel a lot).

I can get why parents say you "don't get it" because they could never "get" my situation. But I always give them the option to try on my shoes just for a while.

The holidays are a stressful time of year for us

Don't worry, you are not alone. Take time for yourself. Don't sweat the little things. Remember you cannot change others, so don't make yourself nuts. Heal and be thankful for everything else. Love.

LeeAnn Rime's breakdown

So I read this article about LeeAnn's breakdown.

Immediately, I thought, her breakdown was caused from being a Childless Stepmother.

Imagine being one in the public eye?

Why is the ex jealous of you? Why does she talk bad about your husband to the kids?

Sometimes I wonder what these BMs are thinking by making stupid comments out of jealousy to the SM. I also wonder why in the WORLD they would bad mouth the Father (especially to a daughter therefore creating unhealthy male related issues) and spread lies out of PARTIAL truths.

I found this blog post by stepfamily coach Jenna Korf . While it was very informative, it still makes me a bit irate. Any Mother that would go out of her way to make her child have issues based on her OWN, baffles me.

Or maybe not. Being a Step parent, I have heard and seen it all...

Childless by choice: selfish?

Here we go again. Those that do not want children are selfish, according to this guy.

Yes, because having a baby when you don't really want one is considered selfless, right? Saying you want children so "I can leave legacies of me behind" or "have someone to take care of me when I am old" are FABULOUS reasons to procreate, right? Having a baby because of family pressure and not desire is the way to go, right?

I can tell you at least HALF of the divorce cases exist because the couple married young and felt :it was the right thing to do to have kids despite the marriage being in trouble.

I love how the couple in the picture is drinking. Ya know, because CBCers are drunken whores.

http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2012/09/19/joe-oconnor-selfishness-behind-growing-trend-for-couples-to-not-have-children/