I was away for my Birthday. My husband obviously couldn't get me a card. He offered to buy me something where we were, but my suitcase was overflowing with gifts for other people like my SDs, etc.
When we got back, we had a small dinner. They lit a pound cake for me and sang Happy Birthday. I didn't want gifts, but no cards...nothing like that. No name on a cake even....
Yet, when it is someone in DH's family's BD, we HAVE to get a gift, save a date for a party, and sometimes make a dish or desert. For the kids, we actually get EXACTLY what they want told to us.
The next day after we got back, no card from DH or SDs. It's not like they didn't have the time. My MIL took my SDs clothing shopping for school and spent a lot of money on them, but no card for me. My DH is not busy at work either.
Again, it's not gifts, it's acknowledgement.
And that my friends proves the theory that a Step Mother is second class.
A childless one is worse because she doesn't even have kids to wish her a Happy Birthday.
It's time for this CSM to be EVEN more selfish or as Disney says: EVIL!
ps: I GUARANTEE that BM gets a gesture and card from my IL's for her BD.
I'm a month late in commenting but... this one hits home with me and is one of the reasons my DH is now my ex-DH. I am a CSM and around this time last year, we had CRAZY big birthday parties for both his kids and even his sister's kids and his little brother (back to back each month from August through November and then, of course, the holidays are here!). Earlier this year on my birthday, ex-DH asks if he can go out with his buddy... ON MY BIRTHDAY! Note, he knows birthdays are extra special to me and we were starting to experience problems already...he needed a friend to talk to... ON MY BIRTHDAY! I'd never felt more alone. I'm so glad I found your blog!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that happened to you. All in all, I wasn't totally ignored, but I did express my feelings and we resolved it. I guess part of it is, he does not like a big to do on HIS birthday and wants no gifts. I think we as women, especially CSMs, it's not about the gift but the acknowledgement on the one day a year it can be all about us and not compromising.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you like my blog! :-)