Friday, June 29, 2012

More magazine touches on a CSM issue

I have written More magazine on one or two occasions. It seems like some articles paint the Stepmother in a bad light. Today, I was surprised to see that the editor herself, came to the realization that step, especially the childless part, can also be hard on the Stepmother.

Lesley Jane Seymour • Editor-in-Chief More magazine

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Beat them or join them?

I had a bad CSM weekend.

MY SDs, although good hearted, are teens. Do I really need to say more???!!???

The talking back and questions when they are told to do menial tasks is maddening. I am the Father on the weekends because my DH works. I also give up lots of other plans to supervise them. I don't have a Mom to help.When my DH gets home, the last thing he wants is to hear me bitch so I keep in inside. I think bio Moms go through this too, though.

But to add insult to injury, my in-law's are now BFFs with BM's parents. Nice people, never rude to me, but still. NO ONE gets it unless you are the second wife. I constantly have to hear about it in MY HOME.  Enough already. It's over and over...

It also seems like all of the sudden, my SDs get more calls with questions from BM and her Mom like what they are doing, what they ate, etc..
WTF???!! REALLY???!!!

7 years later and you ask now???????!!!!!!!!!!!

DH sometimes says it's small talk.
Who knows?

Then to make matters worse, we went to visit their Great Grand Mother; DH's GM.

All she did at lunch THAT I PAID for (not to mention carfare and gifts), how BM's Mom visits (WTF??!! AGAIN??WHY NOW??) and how great BM is. How her and BM always had a connection (this is what you say to the second wife???!!!). BM this BM that and she is a great person. Truth be told, she likes BM because she always buys her stuff and I love GGM , but she is materialistic. She even try to hoodwink me into buying her shoes he did not need while visiting. Did they forget BM was not always perfect in the beginning and although not evil and basically a good person, has lied to DH many, many times?

By the time I got home I wanted to SCREAM! I complained to my fellow SMs but dare not tell DH.

He'll just say "well the alternative is that none of us get along".

He's not a second husband/ childless Stepfather.

He'll never get it.

So do I beat them or take on BM's family since they are kinda nice (I know they are secretly catty sometimes, but not evil. Normal in Step dynamics I guess) . I mean, I don't really have a close family of my own so maybe I should embrace them (I don't think they will ever 100% embrace me though because I am not blood and they are very tight knit)?

If not only for my sanity...for future dealings?

Thanks for reading this far.

Friday, June 1, 2012

I have had a full Childless StepMother month.

BM had been diagnosed with something life threatening. She pulled through so far via a procedure. Nothing prepares you for this on so many levels. NOTHING.

I had my first combined family celebration for my SDs and survived!  I really learned that sometimes it is not your SKs, DH, nor the BM, but EVERYONE FREAKING ELSE!

I leave you with this photo for the weekend.

It says it all.