Tuesday, September 27, 2011


This is a hard one when the child is not "yours". How strict do you get? What lines do you not cross?

I am lucky that DH and BM both are OK with me taking on a parental role which includes discipline however, this is a really grey and DANGEROUS area.

There are a lot of things I turn a blind eye too for several reasons. One is I fear of becoming the "Evil Stepmother" to the girls. The other thing is pissing off the BM. Although she supports me in my role (she is a SM herself), she is still their Mother and naturally her first instinct is to protect them. This also spills over to DH. Sometimes, he can get defensive if I call a bluff he KNOWS is true even though he begs me sometimes to help him. It can be VERY frustrating AND confusing. Don't even get me started with the Grandmothers who, in their eyes, the Grandchildren can do no wrong despite them agreeing they need more discipline. It's enough to make your head spin. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

I am starting to think zipping it is the best thing for me. Maybe not for all but, these kids have their two parents and I have to believe that they are ultimately the ones responsible.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Today is National Stepfamily Day!

We're here, we're not nuclear, get used to it!

Go celebrate all that you do, ladies (and gents)! You deserve it!!!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Please keep in mind the pain of someone who is childless; especially a Stepmother

I really am tired of hearing people say "It's so different when you have a bio child. It's just not the same".

Well let me tell you something. I have nothing to compare it to. Please do not steal the joy of when my stepchild hugs me and tells me "I love you". In my head, I hear you saying this and am afraid to reciprocate in fear of being hurt. Why can't you just say: "It's great the love of a child, isn't it?".

Let me tell you something else. You have no idea what it is like to be a Stepmother. Try having your heart ripped out over and over with reminders from society, family, and the television. Family is everything. Your kids are everything. Some of us have no children of "our own" but, make the best of what we have.

I may not know what it is like to be a Bio Mom but you have NO CLUE on what it is like to be a Stepmother.

How can I love them like my own if I can't treat them as such?

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Let Love Rule

Lenny Kravitz has it right.

The following can be used in any situation, including Step.

When someone does bad or mean things, maybe they may be unhappy. Instead of getting mad or even, let love rule. Say a prayer for them .

No one can hurt you unless you give them permission to. Love them instead.

If you think good and truthful thoughts, that is what you will bring in. Being loving is all it takes.

We are always evolving. That includes learning to forgive which YOU have control over for a better piece of mind! Forgive with love and good intentions.

No one can steal your joy. No one.

Enjoy your holiday weekend!