I watched as my MIL (Mother in law) had an ear to ear smile as her youngest Grandchild opened his birthday gifts. It was adorable to see. But it made me sad deep inside. I didn't show it of course. This is part of being a childless female, you learn to keep your real feelings inside. This is why childless Stepmothers have the highest rate of depression.
I wish that I could give her a Grandchild to bring on that much joy in her life. I didn't. Someone else who married my husband did. That someone else will always come first because of her Golden Uterus. Not me. She will also always be forgiven and get away with things most women can't.
And if I forget, I have others to remind me of my childless status.
My SIL (sister in law) said to me when talking about our dogs, that she knows (like she walked in my shoes) that I consider my dog my baby. She considers her youngest son her baby and her dog just a dog.
Thanks for that reminder. Getting up everyday realizing I will never be a Mother is not enough.
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