Tuesday, April 3, 2012

No one ever lets you forget you are the second wife and not the Mom

This blog post can go for any SM but, was especially hard for me as a CSM.

My DH's Grandmother is in a mental ward. She had some shock treatments and we visited her (she had them before). We took my SDs. Since they are both under the age of 14, they were not allowed in (they had to be 16). We also could only visit one at a time so DH went in first then me. I sat and talked to her for 10 minutes and then we went to the double locked doors that had windows so she could wave to my SDs.

She then told the nurse "Those are my girls". "This is my grandson's second wive so those aren't hers".

This woman can't remember where she lived, her son's death, where she was, or how to dress herself.

But she remembered that I was the second wife and childless.


  1. My MIL ALWAYS made me feel like the 2nd wife and I didn't matter much because the 1st wife was the mother of her grandchild. My dh sisters STILL treat like the 2nd wife. I have been married to my husband for 20 years and he was only married to the 1st wife for 9 years.

  2. Sorry doubleme. I wonder if this is why the statistics of 2nd marriages lasting are so low. Sometimes it is not the couple or the kids, but the families surrounding the two.