A lot of people think my Stepdaughters and I look alike. It is very common for some to say to me when we are out together "your daughters" when referring to them. Of course they assume they are my daughters. Very understandable. However, for the SM of any kind, it can be awkward.
You want to lie just so you don't have to explain. However, that could get back to the BM you are evil and trying to take over. On the other hand, by correcting the person and explaining, does it hurt your Stepchild into thinking you don't view them as your own (in a sense)? Or that you don't love them enough to just fib a little?
There's also that uncomfortable silence sometimes. People not around step, fumble. Then the people who try to be politically correct say "same thing". No, it is not.
It's just another awkward moment in a CSM's life...
Hiya~
ReplyDeleteOh, I appreciate this site!! I just wish it was around 20 years ago, when we (husband and I) had visits with one of the stepchildren. Our situation was awkward because the exwife was very disturbed and used this daughter against us.
However, just this weekend, we made wonderful contact with his son....and though he's 28 years old....I am NOW a Stepmother! And I promised him I wouldn't be a wicked stepmother~
LOL!
It's always awkward when you are out in public and people make assumptions or ask questions. Our only child is adopted and boy,did we get all sorts of questions...even though he looks just like a cross between both of us! LOL!
I am really looking forward to getting to know this 28 year old stepson. It's a wonderful thing I never thought would happen, but it doesn't include his mother. It's a brand new relationship, 26 years delayed, but so welcome!
I'll come back here to learn more about being a stepmother! Thanks so much for this important blog!
Lady Nyo (or just plain Lady on several other sites)
Thanks, Lady!
ReplyDeleteBeing a SM in any kind of situation is tough. I am sure you will do fine with your new found Stepson! My advice is even when he puts down his Mom, listen but don't chime in. Your DH can but, if you do and someday they make amends, you will then become the "Wicked Stepmother".
Gotcha. I don't think, though, this Step child will do that...put down his mom...because he is into forgiveness.
ReplyDeleteI'm not, but then again...she's not my probelm.
Thanks for the advice! New to this!
Lady Nyo