Hygiene

The tween years can wreak havoc on the young body. Hormones are a ranging! This induces so much more responsibility for the not yet adult but, not a child preadolescent.

It's hard enough for a parent to try to police or teach these new routines in order for the tween to stay a member of society. It's even harder for the Stepmother.

Most of our basic hygiene is learned at home. So the child of divorce now has two sets of protocol so to speak. What happens when one unit differs from the other?

Usually the Stepmother is the caretaker of her home. It is very hard for her to undo some poor habits that have been taught (or not) so,  what does she do? She cannot ignore or "detach" from this issue as it affects HER house. Enabling from all other  parties is usually the culprit so she suffers in silence.

She may be contradicting the BM. She may seem like a nag. She may seem *gasp* EVIL when all she wants is the best for everyone.

As a CSM, you even get the "you don't have a kid you don't understand". Um, I have Stepdaughters. I was once 13!

This is when the mantra "not my kid not my problem" is mostly said. I ask you, other Stepmothers, to chant along with me while holding up your cans of Lysol.