Friday, July 8, 2011

Bridal showers are like Kryptonite

I was bamboozled into going to a bridal shower tomorrow. It's not like I don't like the bride, I really don't know her. I know her Mom via my husband and she is a very nice woman.

Any kind of shower to the CSM can be like being fed to the lions. It's common for her to have anxiety beforehand. There will be Mombies and Grandmombies galore at these events.

A Mombie is a new 21st century creature. She is the woman even the regular Mommies hate. Something in her brain triggered a staggering effect at the moment of delivering her baby. She changes. She forgets her college education, any books she's read, and politics she may be able to discuss. She also does not possess the ability to not make her child an extension of herself to the point of narcissism. Not all Mothers are Mombies. In fact, some of the blogs I follow are written by Mothers. One Mother has five kids and STILL has opinions and a view. The Mombie does not. There is no cure. Not even her child growing up into an adult. In fact, the disease worsens and the Mombie child cannot function in a regular society that will not cater to him/her, nor can they compehend why. They therefore cling to their Mombies more. That's what the Mombies feeds on.

The CSM feels very isolated at these events. She does not fit in. The Mombies can't stop talking about baby poop or their school children who are involved in 10 million sport activities. The Grandmombies are obsessed usually from being bored because they were Mombies once too! They look at you like they don't know what to make of you. They remind you: "They are not yours you know. They have a Mother". "You don't know what it's like". They make you feel like you can't possibly know or love a child you are not related too nor do you have the right. Thanks for the reminder.

The childless women don't treat you any better either because you "have kids". You are a leper now. I was actually turned down by a childless study because I had "kids". I told the researcher: "That's not how most of the population thinks".

Don't get me wrong, there are also women who don't make you feel like an outcast. Usually, these are the younger ladies who never had kids and don't get it or have not been tainted yet (bless their hearts). Or it's the woman who doesn't care for her Mother and says "I wish I had a Stepmother to talk too". Occasionally, I get the adult who had a Stepmother they actually LIKED and are very kind!

I never pretend to be my SDs' Mother. I am not. However, I can talk about them with the same zeal of a BM. I can talk about rearing tweens because I was still a part of the process. I can love them a lot. Besides, I am childless, remember, I have no idea "what it's like"  so therefore have nothing else to compare it too.


  1. THIS is FANTASTIC. My DH's ex is definitely a Mombie AND Grandmombie!!!!! THANK YOU for the explicit and most fitting definition!!!